I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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