You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Randomize
