My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Randomize
