I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Randomize
