You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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