Betty ford says i'm here all night
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
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