How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
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