But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
