u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize