im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Randomize
