You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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