Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
