Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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