# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
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