Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
