I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
