i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize
