i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
