You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
