Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
I love how my cats smell like pot.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
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