This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
