Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
