What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
