We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
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