Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
