Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Randomize
