it was like eating out sand paper
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
And then my night got REAL pukey
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
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