I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize