Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Randomize
