I have demons in me.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
