She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
