Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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