I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Randomize
