He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
