Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
