I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Randomize
