idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
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