So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
