i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Randomize
