i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize