That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
