Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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