worst night to have a conscience
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
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