Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
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