I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
