my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize
