i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
