is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
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