Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
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