Define "chronic" masturbator.
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
