I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Just took my morning after pill in the library
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
