we have officially mastered the walk of shame
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
