she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Randomize
