When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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