Moan for me like Helen Keller
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
is this the sara with the beer cane?
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
