I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
