i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Randomize
