doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
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